our population grew by another 95 people since you started reading this.

this one time.
i had to babysit this one kid. and this is how it went:
it was one of those nighttime jobs where you had to put the kid to bed before the parent came home. she told me to put the kid to bed at about 8:30. me, being as awesome as i am, i let him stay up until 9:00. at around then, i told the kid it was time for bed. first mistake. right then he suddenly had to go to the bathroom. so then he proceeded to taking of his pants. than his underwear. then his shirt. than he had to sit on the toilet until he was done. 
after which, i put on his p.j.s (which took longer than it sounds). by then it was 9:30.
'do you wand a bedtime story?' second mistake. he found every book in the house, tore them off the shelves and refused to go to bed until i read every one.
instead of reading until he fell asleep, which i imagined would happen, the event only exited him and he began running around the house like a crazed squirrel.  now it's 9:45.
'let's just watch a show.' third mistake. once again i believed this would calm the kid, and believe me, it did. but i didn't recognize any of the shows. so i picked a movie. hah, fourth mistake there jane. he stared unblinkingly at the screen, up to the point i turned it off. 
he sorta went insane.
10:00.
in a flimsy attempt to get him to go to sleep, i kinda locked him in his room. fifth. mistake. 
he started screaming like someone was knifing him or something, so i freaked out and opened the door.
he looked up at me, eyes brimming with tears and hate and do you know what he said.
'i peed myself.' just to make it clear, he just got out of diapers. so then he went ahead and took off all his clothes again. while doing his business, i tried to find where they kept his underwear. i couldn't.
10:15. 
the kid goes crazy again and starts messing up there house.
this is where it gets bad. 
his parents come home.
now imagine having a nice date with your husband and coming home seeing your kid running around the very messy house two hours after curfew completely naked. 
after four hours of babysitting, the hand me a crumpled up five dollar bill and had me walk home.
they never called me back.