Most Robberies Occur On Tuesdays

Dear Reader,

When you're upset when your roommate got a super awesome phone and you never owned one, Hot Pockets offer no comfort.

The Lion Used In The MGM Logo Killed Its Trainer The Day After It Was Filmed

My roommate took a shower just so she could avoid my bored wrath.

Mission accomplished. 

What do I do now?

Sincerely, I'm Still Really Bored.

There Is No Word For Yesterday In The Eskimo Language

me talking to my buddies: "And I'm telling you, I hate it when people call me 'Olivia's Sister' or 'That Girl' and defiantly HATE it when people call me 'Kate'."

Some bloke walks by: "Hey Kate!"

Mel Blanc (Who Played The Voice Of Bugs Bunny) Was Allergic To Carrots

Here's a fun idea: Look through your journal! When was the last time you looked through your journal (when was the last time you WROTE in your journal)? Thats what I did yesterday.

Don't do it.

I choose to read my journal (2008) . 

Don't do it.

Thinking that I have written spiritual stuff about the church, maybe my testimony, I was sadly mistaken.

Don't do it.

WHAT I WROTE:

Right Now: 

My height/weight: Short & skinny

Current Hobbies/activities: eating/ sleeping.

People I look up to: Daddy, Jane Goodall, Jesus Christ,  and the mirror. 

This is how people describe me: The most awesomest person that they have the privilege to know.

I feel Like these are my greatest strengths: Eating, sleeping, counting to nine.

Birth.Day

What I've heard about that day: They heard angels singing.

Length: Really short.

Weight: Really light. 

I looked like: A baby.

School:

My favorite things about school: Really?! I'll just wright what I don't hate: Lunch.

Right now, this is how I picture my life in 5 years: Why not be happy about now? Five years ago THIS was five years from now! 

I'm so sorry if you new me then.

Most Car Horns Beep In The Key Of 'F'

Dear reader: I'm sure that you've seen the last Harry Potter movie. I was so impressed with the movie that I was inspired to read the series. After countless hours of eye tiring reading, I was ready to open the seventh book. But a problem came up after posting about butt-faced fish.
I am very upset. Now that I'm blogging regularly, I can relate to the fact that most bloggers like a load of followers. So I've been searching a few blogs to see if I could find something fun to follow. I've run across a very pretty blog with a clear tag marked 'harry potter'. Naturally I clicked on it. It went along the lines of the following:
WARNING!! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MOVIE!!
"well, whatever, i've seen the movie." I thought and kept reading.
I just saw the HP movie. I did not like it because it didn't have this from the book:
Blah, blah, blah, wrong, wrong, wrong, I'm a person who rights pointless warnings about movies when I should write about ME RUINING MILLIONS OF HOURS OF READING!!!
So in case you didn't understand that little rant of hers, she just said everything that WASN'T in the movie and was in the book! 
I feel so ripped of right now.

Blue Birds Can't See The Color Blue

Anna bought Kate a fish for her birthday. No, it's not a goldfish. I don't know whether you can see it in this video or not, but it's a barf black kind of color.

The Average Person Relocates Eleven Times

I feel like the only shred of sanity left me last night. Never mind, I never had it. I'm not running on much sleep. My roommate (who so happens to be my sister) has this little quirk where she stays up until midnight and sleep in until noon. I, however, try to go to sleep at about ten or something, and wake up reasonably early. But the thing is, I can't. My sister has some kind of.... talent, If you will. She can block out anything she wants too. She blocks out me when I tell her to go to sleep. And when I try to turn off the lights, she resurfaces and tells me to keep it on. I guess I can sleep through this, but I so happen to be the lightest sleeper you ever had the displeasure to meet.

Lets move on to last night. 

We came back from the farm, and I was feeling extra tired and had that notion everyone else was (maybe that's just because dad's been talking about going to sleep for the first time in three days). So after warning my roommate a few times that I'm about to attempt to go to sleep, I went in to bed and nearly instantly dozed off. Nearly.

We have a freak huge computer outside out door. It's sound carry's loud and beautifully clear. My sister had the funny idea to start talking to her friend through a video.

I could hear every word they uttered.

"wh-where are you?!"

"I'm upstairs!"

"upstairs?!"

"see the stairs?! i'm up them!"

I couldn't handle it. If you're going to talk loudly in the middle of the night, at least talk about something interesting.

After the fourteenth time of the guy asking if he was bothering anyone, and my roommate said no, I swear that I was packing my bags.

Give me a break.

Apparently, Men Can Read Smaller Print Than Women

For young women's a few days ago, we all had a banana spilt and get-to-know-you questions (new ward). Emmie, Kim's daughter, walked right up to Livvy and gave her a popsicle.

"Bite it." Emmie ordered. Livvy laughed and bit it.

"Lick it." Emmie demanded. Livvy laughed and licked it.

"Suck it." Emmie requested. Livvy laughed and sucked it.

Does anyone else see the problem in this picture? 

I leaned over and said to Livvy, "You never laugh when I tell you to 'suck it.'"

Guitar Strings Were Originally Made Of Cat Gut

       A few days ago my sisters where getting ready for the dentist (brushing teeth, brushing hair, getting dressed, so on and so forth), while I was getting ready for another beautiful day for the summer of Jane (eating junk, sleeping in, laying around in my P.J.'s, so on and so forth). 
       Then something hit me. It was my sister Kate telling me that we needed to go right now. Before I know it I'm in braces. 

                                       Thanks for telling me world.

The Brain Is 80% Water

      Picture this:  

We just had a campfire outside and did all the marshmallow burning stuff. when we come back in our house (a five foot walk), mom sits down and says "I smell like fire and bug spray." I told her that I smell like prunes and soap. After mom had me repeat that several times, I told her that I smell like a retirement home.